


Colours

by xiyous (youxiaotu)



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: M/M, chapter 2 is a huge mess im ngl, honestly idk what this is, honestly why did i even write a chapter 2, is it angst? is it fluff, or is it idk, this is actually a twoshot, yanjun is an art man who loves an angle, zhengting is That best friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-15 08:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14787377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youxiaotu/pseuds/xiyous
Summary: Zhangjing is every colour Yanjun knows.손을 뻗어서붉은 노을 빛처럼 날 물들여줘나를 잃지 않게(Colors, Colors)— DAY6, Colors.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not proofread, 2k+ words. Majority of this fic is yanjun talking about zhangjing because zhangjing and his smol bunny teeth uwu!!!!
> 
> edit: proofread.  
> edit (2): Teen and up audiences for language (it's english but u know what i mean)

Yanjun never looked at colours the way since he met Zhangjing. Every stroke of his white pencil against the black paper reminds him of how pure Zhangjing is, how angelic, how shy and small the older was the first time they met. All he wanted to do was protect him.

White fits him the most when he's looking at everything full of interest and amusement, full of curiosity, full of excitement, full of childlike innocence. How his hands would run through the leaves everytime he passes by the garden, or how his eyes would gleam whenever he speaks about something he really loves— from singing, to food, to just about every little thing that makes him smile.

Blue is calm and so is Zhangjing. Despite being all cheerful and yellow, Zhangjing knows how to be all quiet, just like the sea. Gentle whispers tickling his ears. Words of assurance and encouragement, small hands holding his as they walk, his "It's gonna be okay"s repeated as the smaller holds both his hands, helping him walk forward when he's scared, jump higher when he can't and pick him up when he falls. He's always there, and so Yanjun concludes that he loves it when Zhangjing's blue like the skies and seas. All peaceful, all healing, all controlled.

He knows everything will be alright as long as he's with Zhangjing.

His blushing cheeks fits the colour pink, so does his pretty lips, and just about everything Yanjun wants Zhangjing to feel. The stolen moments, the little kisses, the giggles that escapes their lips as they talk about their busy mornings and misadventures. Pink was their colour.

Happy moments that were filled with sweet words, bodies wrapped around each other's. Beating hearts in sync, eyes locked against each other and Yanjun's heart that everyone considers as ice melts, melts, melts. Time slows down and it feels like forever yet only a second has passed. His eyes look away for a second and it feels like it's been eternity since he last took a good glance at him, their hands let go for a moment and he aches to hold it again.

Pink was the colour that was hidden under layers and layers of different colours. It was their little secret and Yanjun wishes that it would last longer, and the light pink goes deeper like he wants it to be.

Yanjun wishes that it will, up till now. He hopes that it will, he prays that it will.

Zhangjing’s hands are green because despite being from a faraway country, Yanjun weirdly feels so comfortable— like how his touches make him feel safe, hugs feel warm or how Zhangjing feels so familiar to him that he doesn't feel uncomfortable when he holds his hands. Just like a breath of fresh air, just like... home.

His hands were green but so are his eyes, despite hiding under the innocent white is a deep green that appears quite often. He finds them cute, but he knows that it made both him and Zhangjing shed tears at least once. If his eyes were green, then Yanjun's is too. Too possessive, too envious, too easy to jump into conclusions. Yanjun hates it, and so does Zhangjing.

Autumn is Orange. Crisp leaves falling down from the trees, cold air touching their skin. It was quiet and he hated how the summer and spring they spent together wasn't like this. Zhangjing wasn't like this before. Why do people change when they love something too much?

The sky is painted a dark orange, Zhangjing whispering that they're not how he wanted it to be. He hates how the orange contrasts Zhangjing's figure walking away from him. He hates that he can see it clearly. He chases, he chases but like the orange sky that fades into black, he disappears. Zhangjing goes further and further and further away from him.

He remembers how yellow is very much like Zhangjing. He brings everyone smiles and laughter, cheerful presence oh-so-contagious. His heart-shaped smile and his cute bunny teeth making everything feel yellow just like the sun- just happy. Feel bright— sometimes too bright that it's outshining just about everything. Heck, Yanjun believes that he could beat the sun by just existing. That was just how Zhangjing is to him.

Yellow fits him the most when he's smiling— which is all the time but Yanjun thinks he looks the best when wearing a soft shade of yellow, but not when with a hint of gray.

All the yellow is nothing more than a distant memory. Smiles were long forgotten, little compliments Zhangjing sends him on days they don't get to meet were now just proofs that he existed in his life.

Remembering isn't always a useful thing. Things you want to bury in the past or old memories that were once one of the things you wouldn't want to forget flashes back in your mind.

Words that hurt, tears that filled one's eyes and heart stabbed over a million times comes back. Sometimes even more painful than it was when it happened.

Zhangjing's ears were gray. Refusing to understand, refusing to listen, pretending he never heard his pleads, his sobs, his whispers asking him to stay.

Gray becomes the quietness that Yanjun will never get used to, The lonely evenings that used to be filled with Zhangjing's voice, the quiet mornings that used to be disturbed by Zhangjing calling him and asking him if he's eaten. He misses him so much, so much that rather than bleeding red, his heart, his hands, his eyes have turned gray. All soulless and colourless, all quiet and plain, all painful. Zhangjing makes Yanjun feel less colourless in a world full of different colours that range from the brightest to the darkest.

Filled with uncertainity, filled with tears yet still filled with the thoughts of Zhangjing and how he once filled him with all the colours of the world.

Only Zhangjing can make colours come back. Only Zhangjing is the colour he needs in his life.

Purple tints the stage whenever Zhangjing sings. Yanjun knows that from the start. He knows that more than anything else, the dark purple that lights the stage is the only colour that captivates him, the only colour that Zhangjing wanted to be. Elegant, shining, royal. He wants everyone to hear his voice and the only way he could do that is to let go of the other colours that once filled him.

The deep purple that captivates Zhangjing's eyes is the only way Yanjun could hang on to him, but the gray that now fills him will never be purple.

Nor will the pink that turned red which once filled his heart with thoughts of Zhangjing.

And so he puts down his red pencil and stares at his work. He can't forget every single thing about him, every single word, every single action, every single moment.

Every stroke of his black pencil against white paper reminds him of the emptiness in his heart. Of the things he regrets, of the things he missed when Zhangjing left, the time he never gave to himself, the people he never allowed in his life— people who could be able to return the colours that once filled him.

He's nothing more than an empty black figure, struggling yet not moving on. For a moment, he hates himself for being like that.

Forgetting also isn't always a useful thing. Little things he should remember was much easier to forget. Why is it easier to forget them rather than the events, the words, the things, the person he wants to forget?

Every stroke is him trying to get back to the usual, every erasures were the times he fell down. He wanted to give up. He falls down and tells himself he wouldn't stand up but he tries again, he continues and he does it even if he needed to limp through. Tears wet and dried, once smooth texture became a little rough.

It wasn't perfect, but he's happy he tried.

Sometimes he still asks himself: has he really moved on from him?

He doesn't know, but he will keep trying through the gray and black that surrounds him.

\--

It was thirty minutes before his exhibit closes but they tell him not to take it down just yet, that someone is coming to look at his artworks. It must be one of Zhengting's art enthusiast friends or Zhou Rui and Xingjie who met (and eventually dated) thanks to his exhibit last year. Whoever that is, that person might be special enough to get the people who owns the space to give him extra exhibit time just so they could view it alone.

"色 (iro), hm. I like that name. It's cute." He hears a voice coming outside. It sounds eerily similar, or maybe he was just hallucinating because he hasn't slept well enough due to him looking after the whole place for three days straight already.

That's right. Dreaming. He wouldn't come here to take a look at his work.

He hears the door open and he tells himself to greet whoever this person was but he cowers when he gets a glance of the person who entered just now.

He was wrong. He wasn't dreaming.

He hides at the furthest part of the exhibit. He doesn't want to see him.

\--

_It took Zhangjing two days to make time for this stupid exhibit. Continuous pestering by Lu Dinghao and Zhu Zhengting and eventually his fans who's been tagging him, talking about a certain artwork they dubbed "The Shrine" in his social media eventually made him decide on going. What was the commotion all about? He doesn't understand but he sees that as at least making time for himself and appreciating good art._

_Evan's 色 was on it's last day. He could've missed it._

_色. That was the name of the exhibit but all the artworks were in grayscale- it was the opposite of everything. A few of them reminded him of a certain someone. Where could he be? Three years is a long time, how much have he changed? Is he still making art? Is he happy and doing alright?_

_He gets lost in his thoughts as each of the artworks he passes by reminds him of that person. The guide speaking beside him explaining things long forgotten as he recalls some things he thought he's already forgotten._

_The day they met, the cherry blossoms falling from the trees. He was in a black tshirt, his dimples visible as he smiles and waves back at him._

_"White" is a cherry blossom tree._

_The first time they both spend their holiday together was in the carnival. He remembers the ferris wheel they rode on, he was afraid of heights yet Zhangjing holds his hand and tells him it's gonna be alright._

_"Teal" was the ferris wheel. The exact one they rode on and the same one that holds many other memories of them. Does he also ride the ferris wheel when he misses him? Does he still miss him?_

_That cozy afternoon they spent kissing and whispering "I love you"s to each other as they watch the ceiling fan lazily turn. Conversation dying down into soft snores and waking up in each other's arms._

_"Pink" was a ceiling fan. A weird piece, but it made him smile. It really did._

_Photos in black and white fills one of the walls. From blurred portraits to sceneries, random objects and places that weirdly makes him feel so familiar. He knows he isn't supposed to but his hand still runs over them, touching them like they were his own memories that he is looking back at._

_"Noir" was a huge wall only looked sad from afar, but was filled with adventures that Zhangjing wishes he could go to. Things that they promised to do together, or things they enjoyed. It felt happy, but a huge part of Zhangjing just thinks that it's missing something._

_He wants to go and put colour on each and every one of the photographs. Perhaps that's what they all needed._

_The last work before the last room was surprisingly not named after a colour, but as "Evan's Autumn". It was a figure of a man that seems like it's dissolving into the gray sunset._

_It reminds him of their last conversation. Pleading whispers, teary eyes yet he never listened to him and left. Zhangjing tries his best not to think too much. This is all just a coincidence, right?_

_He had to sacrifice to be what he is now._

_The last room was pretty strict._   
_No taking of images._

_The guide who's been explaining things to him leaves as soon as he enters the room, a man was standing, observing what looks like the biggest piece in the whole exhibit. It was him, all in a million different colours._

_Lin Yanjun._

_There were a few moments of silence before he decides to speak._

_"It's beautiful."_

_The man turns around, far different from the same man in the black tshirt he met years ago._

_"You like it?"_

_He knows it's gonna end up as one of those awkward small talks. They were ex-lovers after all._

_"So this is the thing they've been telling me about, huh?"_

_Yanjun gives him a small smile and a nod. Zhangjing knows this is not gonna end up well._

_They didn't end well anyways, who is he to expect more?_

_"I missed you. I see you've become so... Purple— so royal."_

_Zhangjing chuckles when he gestures at his coat. Purple. He missed the way Yanjun would compare him to all the colours he could think of._

_"I came here straight after my concert. I didn't have time to change."_

_He hesitates to tell him that he misses him too._

_"Oh, good for you, Mr. Yu Changchin."_

_More silence._

_Yanjun's about to leave._

_He holds on the taller's sleeve to stop him from his tracks._

_"I missed you too. So much. I don't know where to start— I'm so sorry for leaving you I—"_

_Tears manages to escape his eyes, a warm hug envelops him as he breaks into a sob._

_He can't let go of him._

_"I know."_

_He will never let go of him._

_"I'll never— I love you, okay?"_

_Zhangjing wants him to still feel the same way he did. Selfish, he knows._

_Yanjun wipes the tears off his cheeks._

_"I love you too. No matter how much I try to forget about you. I just— I can't. I love you, I still love you."_

_He still does._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They want to make sure of it first before getting back together, he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  ** _I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I JUST WROTE WHAT HAPPENED WITH MY STORYLINE_**  
>  look this is a mess but have fun reading this mess omg  
> i will be active again on twt after my kanji test which is tomorrow pls pray 4 my sanity unu!1  
> also yeah um this probs wont make sense ok im so sorry in advance.  
> +++!!! this is semi proofread tell me if i left any part hanging or typos!!
> 
> warning for the kids: use of foul language because i can't stop myself from using them,,

He still does, but he pushes him away.

"... But I don't know, Zhangjing. Will we ever be the same again if we get back together?"

A disappointed 'oh' masked with a smile. Of course. Yanjun smiles back. Does he not see that his heart aches?

Either way, it was all his fault. He should have known that leaving Yanjun for the stage would make everything different. A year in mainland and two roaming the world. Zhangjing is a hit but why is it that he can't have both? Why can he only have one?

"I don't know either, Yanjun."

Truthfully, he didn't know either but he's willing to do anything.

He takes a deep breath,

"Let's take it slow, hm? I don’t want the both of us to feel like… you know,"

Zhangjing nods.

"We can wait." He will wait.

He won't let Yanjun go this time.

-

Their relationship is surprisingly good after that. They are able to joke around and send each other messages just like normal friends.

But of course, that doesn't change the fact that Lin Yanjun is...

"... Evan Lin." He watches Yanjun stand up from where he's kneeling at and turn around, mumbling a soft 'yes?'.

It was one of those days where he wasn't busy with schedules. He finds himself at Yanjun's house, days after that whole exhibit idea. Yanjun's little room full of paintings and sketches both finished and unfinished stored in the room. It was beautiful and he's thankful that he did listen to the people around him or he would have missed it.

He would have missed the chance of seeing him again.

That night they catch up to the last three years they missed. Yanjun talks about his life, how he traveled, how he drew, how he took images, how he met new people that both did and didn't make an impact on him. How he found success in his artworks, using Evan as his pseudonym.

Evanescent. Like the moment he left him on that autumn day, Yanjun can't forget it.

Zhangjing misses the time when he would snatch Yanjun's sketchbook and realize it's filled with sketches of him— his face, his eyes, his nose, his lips. Though they both agreed to be friends again, Zhangjing misses so many things they did together. So many things he used to do for Yanjun. Sometimes he forgets that despite knowing they still love each other, Yanjun isn't still his.

"You look so gray." It was his way of saying that he looks so sad. Zhangjing laughs, "Do I?"

"You do. Is there anything wrong?" Zhangjing doesn't know whether he's supposed to be honest about it or not. How would Yanjun react upon hearing him talk about how he feels at the moment— that he just... he wants to hold him the same way he used to hold Yanjun.

"You know... This and that. Just... You're not gonna laugh at me, right?" He squints his eyes at the taller. As always, he will give him one of his dimpled smiles, doing a zipping motion with his hand over his mouth.

"I promise."

"I'm just worried about tomorrow." He pouts. "You know. It's my first time performing in a foreign place. Tokyo Dome. Huge place."

It was the truth, yet he calls himself a liar. It's not what he wanted to tell him.

"Hm. Let's see what we can do about that." Yanjun's hand reaches for one of the paint tubes. He tries to stop it, but he was too late. He screeches loudly when paint touches his cheek. He decides to do the same, chasing after him as he runs away.

Just like the old times. Paint all over their shirts and faces, newspapers scattered around even if they knew it wouldn't really help them clean their mess up, a canvas filled with different colours, handprint over handprint, a poor attempt of Zhangjing drawing Yanjun with a crown on top of his head, riding a white horse beside Yanjun's little sketch of his side profile.

Time passed by too fast, Zhangjing knew he needs to leave soon.

"Yanjun?" He calls, the younger hums as he watches the older dry his hair. "Would you watch me the next time I perform here in Taipei?" He asks. A random question, but he definitely wanted to know his answer. He wanted to hear Yanjun tell him that he will.

"Of course." That was what he needed to hear. "Anytime, I will come running as fast as I can to get in front."

"That's not how ticketing works, Yanjun."

"Who said I'd need tickets?"

"And how are you supposed to watch me, then?"

"Aren't I watching you right now?"

"Dumbass. Performing! I meant singing! A concert!"

"Hearing your voice is like... already listening to a concert, Jing."

"... Shut up. That was a lame attempt, Mr. Lin."

He turns away as an attempt to hide his face. Blushing. He can't believe he's blushing. Lin Yanjun is the only one who's able to make his cheeks turn pink.

Zhangjing finds himself going to his house more and more often, wearing a huge white sweater and a mask that covers almost all of his face. Yanjun always welcomed him.  
What was once just talking about random things in life became ranting about dramas over dinner, movies at 3 in the morning, reading books together, listening, thinking, writing.

Words sometimes don't make sense even when together, yet even if it didn't, Zhangjing wishes it'd be heard. A tune stuck in his mind that fits perfectly with each word, it makes a song.

It makes a song and despite the first verse being for himself, he knows that the rest of them are for him.

-

Yanjun is afraid of heights. It's one of the first things he discovered about Yanjun. How he shivered at the mention of riding roller coasters and Vikings and how he cried in fear the first time they rode the Ferris wheel.

He still is up till now.

He tries not to panic when he feels Yanjun bury his face on his shoulder the moment the Ferris wheel started moving.

"I'm scared." he hears Yanjun say. He hugs the younger, patting him lightly and whispering that it's okay while he silently hopes that the younger doesn't feel his heart beat abnormally fast.

"It's gonna be alright."

"Are we on top yet?" He hums and maybe he regrets it when Yanjun lifts his head up.

"The sky's all blue. It looks so... Calm."

"Yeah, and you surprisingly calmed down quick for someone who's afraid of heights."

"I'm alright when you're holding me. I know I won't fall."

"Oh yeah?"

"I kinda feel safe knowing we'd fall together if we do." He pauses, "Though that'd be kinda painful. I mean— this is a really high place. If we fall and die today I—"

"Yanjun," He frowns, "Say something stupid one more time and I'll let go of you—"

Yanjun just laughs. "Will you really just let me go?"

Zhangjing doesn't answer. How could he let him go?

"So, do you know why I brought you here?"

"I don't know, to do this? Uh... Make you suffer because you're scared of heights?"

"Nope, look at my side, 'Jing."

He turns and lets Yanjun encircle his arms around his chest, resting his chin on his shoulder and he tries his best to stay calm. They've been this close so many times before but why does it always feel like it's the first time? He tries his best to ignore the fact that Yanjun's cheek was barely a centimeter away — Their bodies barely a centimeter away from each other.

Blue, blue, blue like Yanjun said, be calm.

"And what exactly am I looking at, Yanjun?" 

"The lights are pretty, right?" He nods.

"Is this the only reason why we're here?"

"Yeah, so I get to appreciate all the things I like at once."

"Like... your fear of heights?"

"Shut up, it's not that and you know it, Zhangjing."

"Then what is it?"

"I— You know."

"Hm?"

"I just really like this Ferris wheel. And the city lights at night."

 _How about me?_ He wants to ask, but he didn't. All he could do is hope that he is included in Yanjun's list of favourites.

-

He used to like it when it's one of those busy days where he's filled with many different schedules now he just... wants to go to Yanjun. He wants to spend every day with him but right now, the only way he could be with him is through the random calls and endless text messages.

Zhengting approaches him in the middle of their filming break, barging in with a rather funny look at his face. "You've been smiling more often lately. Even Director Liu didn't need to reprimand you for half-assing your lines this time around. He thinks you hit your head somewhere and it's a miracle. Honestly, 'Jing-Ge. Even I was worried since it's your first acting project and you can barely even lie but... Wow... I almost forgot that you're a singer and not a trained actor."

"It's— Wait— Why are you asking me about something so confidential?"

"I haven't asked you anything yet, Mr. You. Is there something you haven't told me? Oh my god, speak. I need to know what's happening!"

"It's just that I wrote a really good song." Again, it wasn't a lie. But it isn't really the entire truth. How can he tell Zhengting that he's writing a song about Lin Yanjun, the man he left three years ago, the same man he cried over, the same man who painted him in all the different colours he could and couldn't name?

"Let me guess it's title." He pauses, doing an exaggerated thinking expression before he hums and crosses his arms. Humming loudly before he speaks, "Evan's little shrine?"

"Nope. And it has a name, you know. Not that one you losers call it." Zhengting raises his brow, demanding him for an answer. "Gray." He replies, and Zhengting 'ooh's. That started Zhengting's little interrogation session. He asks him about the whole thing that happened in the exhibit and how he even knew the name of an artwork that didn't have any of those little silver plates stuck beside them to explain anything about it. It was just a huge image of him along with a few other portraits and a million other unfinished ones, an image of him mixed along a few other images of different papers and images to create a new image.

And he answers. How he met Lin Yanjun again after three years and how the both of them agreed to take it all slow, and that sometimes he feels impatient about it, that sometimes he wants to be more than just a friend he hangs out with.

A light punch on the arm was what Zhengting received when he realizes that Zhengting and Dinghao did it on purpose.

"We did what we thought was right!" He reasons out. "Besides," He pokes the older's cheek. "Look at you, you're not sulking anymore, right?"

"It annoys me." He responds. A lie, but Zhengting obviously doesn't believe it. "You and Dinghao are such jerks! I can't believe you guys..."

"You're welcome. I'll tell him you said thanks once he and Chaoze comes back from Korea."

"Shut up!"

"You weren't happy to see him again?"

"I am! But—" He looks down, biting his lip slightly. "I just—"

The younger doesn't let him finish. "Yeah, this feels exactly like three years ago. Next thing we'll know, you guys can't get enough of sucking each other's face off." Zhangjing punches him playfully once again, earning a loud yelp from the younger this time. Zhengting wasn't wrong though.

Making Zhengting listen to his demo isn't something he planned on doing knowing that he is going to look at him with the same teasing glance he used to give him back then.

"I'm sure he'll like it!" The statement wasn't in any way mocking despite that shit-eating grin on the younger. "He probably still likes everything you do even if you make a rap track dedicated to him."

"Shut up, Mr. A-List Zhu. I leave the rapping to Ziyi. He's much better at that than I am. Didn't he-"

"Oh my god, don't remind me of that. It was an embarrassing evening."

"... Yeah, like you didn't tell me you found it hot. Next thing we'll know, you guys can't get enough of sucking each other's face off." He mimics, the younger runs off with a red face, not before screaming a loud "bye" and slamming his dressing room door shut.

He laughs. Ah, love.

  
-

The Japan concert is a huge success.

He knows that this little "celebratory party" thing between the both of them is just an excuse to observe Yanjun's beautiful face. The both of them spends their time in Zhangjing's penthouse, observing the skies as they talk about how the past few weeks were.

"'Jun?"

"Yes, 'Jing?"

"This is random but, if you were to be a colour, I think you'll be umm," He pauses to think, "Like... Silver."

"Why?"

"I don't know, you look good in it? I mean, you keep comparing me to millions of colours, holy shit, I didn't even know there's one that's named dollar bill, what the hell."

"Are you trying to compare me to a colour too?" Zhangjing nods. "Zhangjing, I think— Yeah, that's cute."

"Lin Yanjun!" He yells, smacking Yanjun's arm as hard as he can that the younger cries in pain. "That hurts!"

"Whatever." He rolls his eyes at the younger.

Their laughter fades into silence after a while, Yanjun continues to admire the view from the huge window— _Wow, I've never seen a window this huge_. Zhangjing chuckles at the statement, watching Yanjun drink more alcohol.

He takes a sip too.

The alcohol must've been strong, or the younger is just bad at handling alcohol but it didn't take long for him to start saying and doing weird things.

Yanjun points at the “star” shining brightly. "Look!" He yells, "Hurry, hurry, look!"

"Isn't that a _dro_ —"

He presses his hand against Zhangjing's mouth. "Shh, It's the first star. Quick, make a wish!"

He wanted to argue about how blind the younger is. It's obviously a drone. But he doesn't speak, might as well make a wish and hope it happens instead of arguing with him, right?

Starlight, star bright,  
First star I see tonight,  
Wish I may, Wish I might,  
Have this wish I wish tonight.

I want Lin Yanjun to be happy. I want to make Lin Yanjun happy. That's all I need to be happy.

"But really though, Isn't _that_ a drone?"

"It's a star! Look at it, it's all bright and cool- looking and shit."

"See! It's blinking!"

"It's not!"

"It is!"

They argue about it until the whole evening. Maybe Zhangjing was right, but Zhangjing hopes that his little wish upon a drone comes true anyway.

This was exactly how they started, as a slow, soft song and he oh-so-badly wanted to raise the tempo a little higher. Impatient. So impatient. You Zhangjing is so impatient.

-

It was six in the morning and Zhangjing was still in bed, only an eye open as he reads the series of text messages Yanjun sent him.

"Weather forecast says that there'll be a meteor shower tonight." He reads out loud. "I want to watch it with you but you told me you've got a taping today." And he wants to watch it with him too. "Don't forget to bring warm clothes. It's been much colder lately." He will. "Focus on your work, you can do it! 加油!"

Zhangjing furiously taps on his screen, typing out a reply which ended up in paragraphs of emojis and tons of uncoordinated thoughts.

"That wouldn't do." He tells himself, and so he taps on backspace until everything's been deleted and types again, "I'll be watching it from our location shoot. And I will! Good luck to you too, know your new art piece will come out beautiful as always. <3" He reads one final time before pressing send. That’s… that is much better than a huge wall of both uncoordinated thoughts, crying and heart emojis, right?

Maybe he screamed when Yanjun replies back with a heart.

And maybe he also rushed out as soon as he finishes filming to witness the meteor shower.

-

Zhangjing has long forgotten the movie that's being projected on his living room's wall and is instead staring at Yanjun. His face is barely visible due to the lack of light yet Zhangjing still can't help but stare at his face.

"'Jing."

"Hm?"

"Did you wish back on the first star?"

"That was a _drone_ , Yanjun."

"Just answer me—"

"Fine. _Maybe_ I did."

"Did you get to witness the meteor shower that night?"

"... Yeah."

"Then did you also wish when you saw the meteor shower?"

"...Yeah?"

"How about the shooting star in the film earlier?"

"That was the Disney logo—"

"Am I in your wish too?"

Zhangjing refuses to answer. Instead, he pouts. "If I tell you, then my wish wouldn't come true, dumbass."

"Yeah, well I hope I was in your wish." The moment was ruined when a handful of popcorn lands on their faces, Zhengting angrily whispering about how they should get a room if they're going to be all cheesy in front of him.

Yanjun was right, and Zhangjing couldn't sleep the whole night thinking about what he just said.

Indeed he was in all of his wishes.

And so Zhangjing uses that time to continue writing his feelings on paper and later on sung with that same tune he had in mind. People might not like it because it wasn't too fast nor it wasn't too slow. Uncertain, yet it sounds so right.

-

"Why are you two such idiots?" Zhengting asks, blanched cabbage in his mouth as he speaks. He cannot believe he let this loser in his house and even let him eat his cabbage. "You can't always be in _that_... zone, you know?"

He knows.

"If Ziyi and I were to be like that, I'd rather ask him out myself than wait for him take forever to do. I mean, that... If the feeling's lost then it's not sure that it will be back again. I'd rather take the risk now rather than lose it."

"After that whole embarrassing evening where he rapped about how much of a perfect fairy you are? You still acknowledge his presence? Cool."

"Shut up. Ziyi's not that bad. Lin Yanjun made you a fucking shrine, Zhangjing. A Shrine! Isn't that higher embarrassing? Your huge face was there for _three days_. Three days is like _seventy-two hours_ and seventy-two hours is... How many minutes are there in an hour? Fifty? Fifty times seventy-two is..." The younger starts counting but gives up after a while, a frustrated frown on his face before he speaks again. "You know what, I'm not doing this. I can't do math. I'm an actor who doesn't get paid to do math for you. Figure it out yourself."

"It's sixty minutes, not fifty and you just don't appreciate real art, loser."

"Whatever, smartypants." Zhengting huffs. "If it's your ugly face in a huge canvas and about a hundred million different sketches of your face in different angles then no, thank you."

"Much better than listening to Ziyi rap about you, human fairy, perfect and beautiful." He imitates how Wang Ziyi rapped in front of Zhengting, earning one of his deadly slaps on the back.

"But really though. Three months and getting called by your manager six times because you keep on going to Yanjun's..."

"I know."

"You guys are fucking dumb." The younger repeats. "If you like each other and want to make out then say it, don't make people like me a part of your bullshit and feel all the sexual tension and unsaid words in the air and feel uncomfortable about it. Why can't you guys just be together again already? It's better back when I don't hear you worry about Yanjun and when you'll ever hold his hands or kiss him. Ugh."

"Then stop hanging around in my house when he's around and stop hanging out with me?"

Zhengting gasps, surprise a little too fake. A-class actor indeed. "Are you cutting ties with me? Bros before hoes, Zhangjing!"

"Says you who probably dates two men at the same time and forgets all about me!" He clutches on his chest exaggeratedly. The younger gets up and aims his fist at him, frowning. "I DID NOT— SHUT THE FUCK—"

"Oh yes, of course! Zhu Zhengting, forever loyal to BOOGIE Wang Ziyi!"

"You Zhangjing bitch, Shut up!"

They chased each other around. Even if Zhangjing considers is friend a dumbass, he knows what he said was right. Sometimes he just says the right thing at the right time and even if he doesn't say so loudly, he's thankful that Zhengting's always there for him.

Sometimes it sounds awkward the first time you listen to a song, but it grows on you the more you listen to it. Without removing the three words he wanted to tell him so badly, he continues writing, continues composing till it's ready for everyone to hear.

Lately, he's been spending all-nighters. Not that he's forcing himself. It's just that he's been too inspired that he can't close his eyes and rest. Too excited that he can't wait to sing it out loud for everyone to hear.

For him to hear.

-

"What are we?" He asks Yanjun, but was only given another question in response.

"What do _you_ want us to be?"

"You _know_ what I want us to be."

"Are you sure?"

"Why else would I be here asking you that question, stupid? I know I was selfish enough for leaving you in exchange for being what I am now but... I still love you. I always have and always will, dumbass. If you don't love me back the same way then tell me, stop making me all sleepless and waiting for your ugly ass to tell me you want to hold my hand because I badly want to hold yours or tell me you want to kiss me because fuck yes, I've been waiting these whole three fucking months to do that and I can't. Why? because you said we need to take it slow." He takes a deep breath, And at this point, his mind was on autopilot, saying everything that's on his mind without even thinking about the possible consequences. "Well, I'm so sorry, fucker. I want to hold you and kiss you and call you mine right now and Zhengting was so right about that even if I have been telling him that's not what I wanted in life. I can't even focus watching my favourite movie thinking about you! I keep getting called by my own manager and telling me to stop this bullcrap visiting you almost every day but I still do because I'm a rebel who loves you so, so much! Can you believe that, Mr. Lin? Yeah you probably don't even know how much I was so distracted watching my favourite movie last time that I wanted to punch you and kiss you at the same time 'cause you ruined my movie because you're too handsome and too perfect, too kirakira mabushii and you draw so well, make pretty art with all those feathers, wood, clay, cloth, wires and all the other crap I can't understand and put them all together and just... Wow. You also speak so well and you have a very nice voice and it's so nice that I want you to call me at 2 am and talk to me till we both fall asleep and I miss you so much and Holy Shit I wish I can't speak my mind out because you're not even stopping me from doing so and that must make you happy, you big loser! I still cannot stop myself from speaking because I'm waiting for you to shut me up but it seems like you're waiting for the director to cue you well too bad! there's no director and this is no movie and you're a really great mixed media artist person thingy, not an actor and I hate you so much!" A little bit stupid yet each word comes from the heart.

Perhaps it was a little too much, a little too aggressive but still very him nevertheless. Very Zhangjing. Very much like that little paragraph he typed a few days ago, a ton of screaming and uncoordinated thoughts.

"I—"

"Can't speak, huh? Cat got your tongue, huh?"

"Yeah. Kinda. That was a lot to take in."

"So, what are we?"

"What do you want _us_ to be?"

"What do _you_ want _us_ to be?"

"First of all," He pauses a little too long and Zhangjing frowns. He doesn't have time for this.

"Yanjun,"

"First of all, you're so impatient." He chuckles, placing a kiss older's forehead and ruffling his hair and Zhangjing melts. "Don't frown."

"You make me mad."

"Second of all, I told you I love you too, didn't I?"

"But you don't wanna hold my hand and call me yours and ki-" He gets cut off with a small kiss on the lips. "Are you happy now?" he nods quietly, pink once again tinting his pale skin.

"Third of all," Yanjun slides his hand into his, pressing a kiss on the back of his hand before he speaks. "You Zhangjing is mine. Mine, mine, mine, mine and only mine." A kiss on his cheek every time Yanjun says the word 'mine'.

"That was so cheesy."

"And your whole little speech earlier wasn't?"

"It was better than that."

"You said, and I quote: "I was so distracted watching my favourite movie last time that I wanted to punch you and kiss you at the same time 'cause you ruined my movie because you're too handsome!" End quote."

"S-Shut the fuck up. Out of all the million words I say, that's all you remember?" Blushing. He's blushing again because of Lin Yanjun. "Please never bring this up again. Oh my god, I am so embarrassing."

"And you, weeb lord actually added 'kirakira mabushii' too. I cannot believe—"

"Out of all the things and praises I said—"

"Yeah, I can't believe you still had the time to think of those words" He laughs. "I think it's cute. _You're_ cute."

"Yanjun!"

Like they always did before, they find themselves kissing and whispering "I love you"s the whole afternoon. The light orange that peeked through the windows were beautiful, changing to a light pink before it turns dark.

-

The first thing he does is search for Yanjun's face in the huge sea of people screaming his name.

Yu Changchin, Yu Changchin, Yu Changchin.

Unfamiliar people, fans he saw before, LED banners with his name on.

Where's Lin Yanjun?

He doesn't know but he believes he's somewhere in this crowd of people, cheering for him, listening to him.

"If you hear me, I want you to know that this for you." He then pauses, a smile creeping up his face when he finds a familiar figure smiling, waving at him.

It's him.

"It's for you."

He lets the purple lights shine above him as he sang his song for everyone to hear.

He will always sing for Lin Yanjun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** **kirakira mabushii -** Literally means sparkly bright salkdjfsl i was planning to delete it on final but ya girl,. 
> 
> my brain? needs the kyukyusha i dONT KNOW WHAT THE FCK I WROTE  
> but ur brain probs needs it too u have reached this far that means u, my friend, u were able to finish this mess of a work and my ugly writing style.
> 
> special thanks to **@breadforyanjun / yanjunsdimples** if not for her this work would've not seen the light sjdkja i lOVE YOU IM WRITING ANOTHER ZHANGDEJUN SOON UWU also i will reply soon im just rly, ,,, rlly busy ok im soRRY FIREndn,, i want to come back showing u this zhangjun fic mess lkdfj  
>  and to **@bttmzt** who allowed me to spam her inbox everyday writing zhengkunyi and zhangjun and yanren and screaming abt my writer worries and yeah im so sorry for plotting ur faves as bad ppl ok unu my brain? evil. We still have ideal 2nd lead!ziyi to write holy shit i cannot wait to write the piggyback scene aND THAT OTHER ONE, oh my god i am excited for all the 583457 stuff (read: mess) we have created uwu  
>  to my other tomodachis i havent mentioned u know i love u ok and im rEALLY SORRY FOR ABANDONING YALL IM REALLY JUST SO BUSY LATELY UNU I WILL BE BACK TOMORROW OR ON MONDAY (if im not back consider me dead)  
> aND OF COURSE!! YUO!!! fRIEDN!!!!! YOU WHOS READIGN THIS!!11! I CANNTO BELIVEIV IM PROUD OF MYSElf tHERE ARE PPL READING THIS KSLJDLAS im sorry i made this a huge mess i tried to make everything connect but i really suck at writing stories skdlfjls im sorrY!! !! ok !!!
> 
> i will be back with more zhangjun soon but first i gotta work on my 58439534985 wips ahhhh and japanese assignments too!!
> 
> yeah but till my 2 braincells can manage again, i will be studying and writing!!
> 
> hmu @HENGHENGHAHEE i will defo write u an au in ur dms or send u au plot ideas because i have so much of them. i will also be active soon i pROMISE!!!
> 
> ok this is getting too long no one's reading this anyways have fun today im gonna go back to my study lair aka batcave. /rolls back into the shadows/


	3. extras

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these were deleted scenes and an extra scene i am not so sure if i should post but im posting anyways
> 
> also yes, it was supposed to follow a wish theme but uM ya girl? yea i dont have enough braincells for it.

 

 **〔How it should have started** im **not sure why** i **scrapped this off ngl〕**

 If Yanjun were to describe Zhangjing as a colour, it would be the colour white.

Pure, Innocent, Young and Fresh. Way too different from who he is, way too deserving of all the love and affection in the world.

It was why Yanjun liked him in the first place.

Their first meeting wasn't interesting or anything special in particular. In fact, he remembers Chaoze lazily gesturing at the boy with the cute gummy smile, shyly waving at him and greeting him with a soft hello that almost sounds like a whisper. It felt awkward a few seconds after, since said boy and Chaoze started talking about how their class went and Yanjun didn't understand any of it. He regrets not being able to talk to him at all after that day, because the next time they meet, he finds out that You Zhangjing is an amazing person, and the time he spent hesitating on joining his conversation with Chaoze was time wasted getting to know.

His first impression of Zhangjing might have been white, but he realizes that Zhangjing could also be yellow.

Bright, happy, free. Like a ray of sunlight. Heck- Maybe even the sun himself.

"I'm working, Yanjun." Zhangjing frowns, pushing the younger's face away from him as he tries to focus on his chemistry book.

"Working your way into my heart?"

"Shut. Up."

  
-

**〔DELETED SCENES〕**

 It was the first time he asked Yanjun to visit his house despite being able to visit Yanjun's millions and millions of times. He laughs as the younger's mouth gapes at the sight. "This is a big house." he says, proceeding to touch a few decors that sparks his interest.

-

我的少女時代. He's seen the movie over and over again. (He says it's because he needs to support Queen Hebe's ost, but he wouldn't admit that he just admires the whole movie itself.)

_"Xu Taiyu! Shooting star! Make a wish!" Lin Zhenxin yells, pointing at the sky._

Zhangjing wishes that he and Yanjun could be like this forever. He closes his eyes, and wishes.

_"On that night I made a wish upon a shooting star, I wished that I was also in [her] wish."_

-

"What was your wish?" Yanjun asks.

"It's none of your business. My wishes won't come true if I told you!"

"Wishes, hm?" Yanjun wiggles his brows at the older. "I'll tell you my two!" He holds out three fingers. "Two wishes!"

"You told me you weren't drunk yet, 'Jun."

"Shut up! Shhh! Listen to me, listen, listen!" He yells, standing up and puts his index finger over his lips.

"One! I want You Zhangjing to smile every day! I don't want him sad."

"Dumbass, I should be the one telling you that. I left you after all."

"No! Shhhhhhhhut up!" He raises his bottle up, again doing the same gesture he was doing earlier. "You made me happy. I'm so happy I have you around again. You Zhangjing is back! I'm just so, so dumb. I hate myself. I love pretending like I don't want to hug you but I do!"

"Yanj—" He was cut off with a loud gasp.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Should've asked if you guys were having romantic time— Should've asked if—"

"Oh my god no, Zhengting— Wait— How the fuck did you get inside?"

"0824? It was easy to figure out, you know."

"... I should change my password again." he inhales, ignoring the Yanjun yelling that's my birthday! in the background because yes, it's his birthday.1

"3826?"

"Why... Why are we friends again?"

"You love me." Zhengting replies.

"No, he loves me!"

"I'm the best friend here!"

"Well, I'm—" He pulls Zhangjing into a hug. "I'm his!"

Zhangjing wants to facepalm. Is Zhengting really arguing with a drunk yanjun right now and is their topic of arguement... Him?"

"His?"

"I want to be—" And he stops midsentence, losing consciousness before he could finish his thought.

"Is he alright?" Zhengting asks, suddenly all worried about how the man suddenly just fell on Zhangjing. "Oh my god, is he dead? Zhangjing, oh my god I think he's dead."

-

**〔is this even deleted if it's originally not a part of the story idk〕**

  
"And why are you sulking?" Zhangjing asks, watching his best friend exaggeratedly throw himself onto the bed, rolling himself around the comfortable white sheets of Zhangjing's bed. Zhengting refuses to speak, only letting out a whine before rolling to the other side.

"Zhengting," Concern laces his voice, Zhengting has never been like this before on a normal day— especially if he's off-camera.

"'Ting." He repeats softly, reaching out to pat the younger's shoulder lightly. "Tell me what's wrong, hm?" Still no response.

They stay still for a while, no words spoken, a worried Zhangjing worrying about his best friend.

"We broke up." finally, Zhengting speaks.

"Oh. You bro- What? With whom? Zhu Zhengting, are you keeping secrets from me?"

The younger sighs. "He's two tones too dark for the deep blue I wanted." Is he copying Yanjun now? Zhangjing wonders if all the time Zhengting's hung out with the both of them turned him into some art nerd like Yanjun.

"... I'm sorry, Ting but can you please speak to me in a language I understand? Broke up? Two tones too dark... What the fuck is going on exactly?"

"Are you sure you really want to know?" The younger rolls back to face him. He nods. "Then you might want to buckle up, it's a pretty long story."

"'Kay. I'm all ears."

"You see, I love blue and now I probably love it too much that I feel blue."

It wasn't a joke when the younger said it would be long, Zhangjing listens anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> twt: @HENGHENGHAHEE


End file.
